Tuesday, October 07, 2003
I was lying in bed yesterday, thinking to myself before I fell asleep, and I realized something about myself I never really knew before.
I was thinking about how I am usually not able to express the meaning of a particular word clearly in words even though I knew what it meant. And I realized that I understand words by the kind of feeling that I have when I see them. It’s like associating an amalgam of images and sensations to any particular word to create a unique feeling that tells you the connotation as well as meaning of the word. Which explains why it’s difficult for me to provide the meanings to some words, as I don’t know how to translate the feeling of the word into words that describe the feeling.
This probably explains why I tend to be rather long winded, since I use my words to express certain feelings, but tend to repeat myself until I get the feeling to be just right. And it also explains why I really can’t stand the use of vulgarities, since expletives generally give me a rather unpleasant “feeling” in my head. If you need an example, I can tell you that the mental feeling I have of f*** is very very unpleasant indeed, making it one of the words I dislike greatly. Which also explains why I use words like frig and crap and bugger when I need to let off steam. Somehow, the feeling that I get from these pseudoexpletives is not unpleasant, but rather cartoonish, like when comic characters go”%$&*@!!”. Quite amusing, and it does serve its purpose.
This new fact adds to the proof that my brain is more visually inclined. I’ve found that when I study and keep reading notes or textbooks, the pages tend to get imprinted in my mind, so I can visualize what a page like when I’m trying to remember something I’ve read, and I can find the page where I’ve read the particular tidbit of information. Interesting talent, but it does have it’s drawbacks.
One thing about having a good memory is that sometimes you just remember things you want desperately to forget. It’s impossible to do any housekeeping as the brain is just full of information that refuse to be deleted. What a pain. But I must admit, I like having a good memory. Who doesn’t?
Avaris / 10/07/2003 04:34:00 PM
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