Sunday, October 19, 2003

It seems that almost every other day I get inspired to think about some particular subject, but I rarely have the time to put it all down, and by the time I get down to typing something out, some of the original feelings I had are gone; it's quite difficult delving into something when you are half-hearted about it, ja?

Maybe everyone should have blogs. It's quite interesting reading H's blog. Hopefully it doesn't come to a point where I'm commenting on what H says in his blog on my blog and vice versa - that would be rather outlandish haha.

Oh well. WM's birthday is on Wednesday and I walked around half of Singapore yesterday trying to figure out what to buy for him as a present. Seriously, this nation-round exploration thing is getting to be addictive, especially since I have a concession pass for MRT and bus so I can go anywhere I want for free, in a sense. Anyway, I went to Buona Vista yesterday morning to pass WM the LOTR VCD, which was very very very good (can't believe I fell asleep in the middle of the battle of Helm's Deep the first time I watched it) despite not having PDP (I hope this doesn't evolve into a trend or something - this Dr. Da Costa is not very reliable). After that, I went to CCK library to find some books (I have this thing with the CCK and Bukit Batok libraries - I usually find most of the books I want there). Anyway, to cut a long story short, I met ZF after that at Bishan, had ban mian and then Swensen's at Thomson Plaza. What a large chunk of meaningless text, huh?

The point that I'm coming to, now, is that I finally struck upon an idea - to get a book for WM. I think he hasn't read the latest book by Terry Brooks yet, so I'm going to get that for him once I make sure he hasn't read it. It's called Jarka Ruus, and the reviews on Amazon say it's pretty good, so I hope he likes it. H said it's not worth my time getting a card to go along with the book since WM wouldn't appreciate it. I would have to admit the image of him pulling a crumpled card out of his bag rather amusing, but I don't think he's an insensitive person. Sometimes he can really do things that are very touching. In a way, he's quite gallant, and thoughtful. Sometimes I think of myself as Lord John Grey to him as James Fraser and Em as Claire. Haha. Such insane delusions.

I do realise that for anyone who has read Diana Gabaldon's Outlander series, the last part of the above paragraph will be quite a shock, being scandalous and politically incorrect. Oh well, I didn't set up this blog to be politically correct, you know. Let people get scandalised haha. A little controversy is fun. =) Just don't take things too seriously, ja?

It would seem that quite a few people have found my weblog. I got this cryptic message on ICQ today from YY. Comment taken. Well, ok, maybe I'm being too quick to judge PSch. The entry on him was really a facetious side-note. You would realise, after reading my weblog, that I write a lot of nonsense, most of which I don't really mean when it comes down to it. Just don't be too quick to judge me either, from what you read on this blog.

I was quite intrigued, reading about H's religious experiences on his blog. I thought it was quite an interesting counterpoint to my own "moment of serenity" on Thursday. It set me thinking about my own religious experiences. To be honest, I haven't had any revelations from Buddha (not being blasphemous here or anything - religion is not a joking matter). But I do have quite a few of those "moments" where I feel like I'm one with Nature. I think, in a way, that the divine being I believe in is actually Mother Nature. I'm not sure myself when it started, but I treasure quiet moments as a chance to come closer to the pulsating life force that is Nature. I can be walking along a quiet lane surrounded by trees and suddenly I feel that my sense of sight and hearing are inexplicably enhanced, that I have an increased awareness of the life that surrounds and envelopes me, and I feel so contented, so peaceful, so aware.

It's really amazing. And the more I think about it, the more I realise I have always held Nature in awe without being aware of it. Mother Nature, in my belief, is the architect of the life that populates the Earth, the engineer of the infinitely intricate mechanisms that maintains life, from the macroscopic ecosystem to the microscopic cellular biochemistry. Which would mean, actually, that my religious beliefs are quite unorthodox indeed. Goodness, I'm pagan. Actually, paganism does not refer to demonic worship, despite the negative connotation that has come to be associated with it. It's origin was in the worship of nature, which became an unorthodox following in the eyes of the Church. Nature is such a wonderous entity, but so few learn to appreciate it, much less commune with it. A pity indeed. You who are reading this might not agree (I think few people will) with me, but I'm just writing to share my awe of Nature.

Really, it's no wonder Nature has always been my pet topic in GP. I can go on forever about this.

Avaris / 10/19/2003 06:28:00 PM

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