Tuesday, December 23, 2003
Christmas, Christmas, Christmas. A wonderful season. Ok I'm not going to go into a mushy sonnet on the beauty of the season, but I just feel a little overwhelmed by the festive spirit going around. I think it's so wonderful to read cards that people send to you and to send cards to others while actually coming up with original things to say to every person - which is probably impossible if you send cards to a gazillion friends. I find Christmas cards so heartwarming... they're the equivalent of presents in my opinion. I think presents are such a hassle. If it's the thought that counts, I think cards are full of kind thoughts and warm feelings. Aw.
Ok, well, that awful song from Love Actually, namely Christmas Is All Around by "Billy Mack" is doing figure-8 turns in my head so I'm a bit nutty right now.
"Ah feelit in mah fingers, Ah feelit in mah toesss... Christmas is all around ya, and so the feeling grrowsss..."
Since I'm in a nutty mood, I think I'll write some nutty stuff. Not literal, of course, since you can't expect me to have dissertations on walnuts on my blog, can you. Wahahaha. What did I say now? Forgive me for my temporary insanity.
Ok, ok, back to more serious stuff. I was actually bemoaning the fact that it's
so incredibly hard to find someone you can give a humongous big-squishy (sorry) hug to as you get older. I think if there's one thing that melts my heart, it's a jolly good hug that is reciprocated. But that's one pretty rare gem to find in all the zircons.
I remember thinking in Primary Six: Girls are so lucky. They get to hug each other all the time as an affirmation of their friendship. But us guys get the short end of the stick (
is that the correct term? I forget) because we can't hug our friends of the fairer gender (don't even try) and we can't hug our guy friends too because there's simply no guy who's going to reciprocate, no? You might as well go hug a crocodile for all the welcome you receive from the gesture.
I wonder why hugs affect me so profoundly as they do. Maybe I feel the need to be protected as well as protect as the same time, which is something of what the act of hugging represents, I think. It really is a great comfort as you feel some form of tangible support coming from your friend, especially in times of unhappiness or vulnerability, rather than some words that symbolise moral support. So it really is an affirmation of a close friendship between friends, is a hug, but of course most people out there don't think that way, from what I've seen. I do hope I'm mistaken, though.
You must admit that in an Asian society that is only just started on its path towards attaining that level of development as is seen in the Western world, we are definitely less open with our affections than people from Western countries (putting it in a general term for ease of use). Though of course, the level of development has less to do with this than the general culture of the society, which breeds into its people certain behavioural sensibilities. Especially for the male members of society, there are still some tenacious perceptions that they should not readily display their emotions in public for to do so displays some kind of weakness of character of the individual. I say that is ridiculous, but it is what many people base their judgements of people on, whether they are aware of it or not. No one likes to be seen doing something that deviates from the "mainstream" behaviour and hugging is apparently classified under one such deviation, for many people perceive that the display of such overt affection, especially between males, hints at a relationship that goes deeper than friendship? (
Argh another GP-ish paragraph..ignore it)
That's nonsense, of course. A hug is just a hug, just as long as it is a friendly hug and hands don't go where they're not supposed to. It's not as if you're groping each other (that we've seen more than our share of on public transport) and seriously, who cares about what other people think.
I think I was very lucky in my BMT days to have two wonderful friends who were never miserly with their hugs, which was really wonderful since that helped me cheer up when I was feeling terrible. Knowing you have a friend who would go all the way to give you a hug is so heartwarming, and a hug says more than words can. Of course you don't need it to have a wonderful friendship, but it definitely can enhance an already wonderful friendship.
So in this wonderful season of loving and giving, let's all give our best friends hearty hugs and cherish the friendships that we have. If that friend is me, I'm sure he'll appreciate that hug. =)
Happy holidays!
Avaris / 12/23/2003 12:18:00 AM
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