Thursday, February 12, 2004
Finally I have managed to fix the comments link. Turned out there was a typographical error in my script that popped out of nowhere, but all is fine now. All the trouble I took to make a new comments pop-up window too, when all that was wrong was the blasted script. Argh.
What a terribly lazy day this has been. I mean, when lectures end at 10 am one is definitely not inclined to stay in school to study. I had an obligation to complete my PBL, but did not get down to doing it in the end anyway, since I was staring blankly at the exercise physiology book for 10 minutes and I was still in the same paragraph. The wonderful day beckons, with a seductive irresistability. Well I actually was thinking of watching a movie (like Lost In Translation) but no one to go with me, so I ended up going to a library. Like, that is such a wonderful way to spend the day. But it's okay, I ended up borrowing four Agatha Christie books. Such extravagance. I thought Death on the Nile was a really good story, for its portrayal of all those subtle nuances of human nature. I think Agatha Christie is a genius.
Oh yes and it was quite amusing when I came home and found several pairs of black high-heeled shoes scattered about the car-park at a neighbouring block. It turns out some mischievous kid was throwing these shoes down from the fifth floor or something. Quite the hilarious sight, to have been there and seen all those shoes strewn rather pathetically. My mother and I had a good laugh at that, while many others stopped to stare as well.
I like going home early! I don't know, but perhaps it's kind of like a show of filial piety to my mum that I go home and talk to her since my dad comes home really late and my brother is always out playing somewhere and she's alone at home most of the time. I always feel a little guilty about going out with friends because I wonder what my mum is doing at home. I felt terrible about getting home so late on Monday and Tuesday because when I get home so late I'll end up having only about 1 hour of free time before I have to go to bed so I end up doing all the stupid stuff like bathing, reading the newspaper, and eating and don't have enough time to spend with mum. Haha my dad thinks I shouldn't be tied to my mum's apron strings when I'm already so old but I really cannot be bothered with that sentiment. Though it would probably be a considerable impediment to getting married - I don't think girls like guys who are "mummy's boys" but who cares, I don't think I would die if I didn't get married. I think marriage is like a big bonus in life. Delightful but not indispensable. =) Sigh I don't think I can ever leave home for too long - explains why I refuse to live in NUS halls. I can still remember how I withered when I had to stay in camp for a week during NS - terrible. One reason I picked Medicine is also due to the fact that it is the best thing one can do in Singaporean universities - then I wouldn't have to go overseas haha. Yes, yes, shake your heads and say I'm pampered. Why, I like being pampered, thank you very much.
I think I have realised that the reason for my dwindling posting of entries some time ago was my rather silly habit of leaving things that I wanted to say till another more convenient time when I could post it. In the end revisiting those subjects just did not allow for a more thorough exploration of the topics since one just does not feel as passionately about the same subjects at another time. Not very well expressed, this notion, but I do hope you are able to understand my explanation. It has been quite a blessing, getting cable, since that has allowed me to blog freely any time I wish to without having to worry about internet bills and all.
You do notice that my blog has lost some of its philosphical nature? I do not really know what to make of it myself, but that perhaps one can only pontificate so far before starting to sound rather feeble and airy, and that perhaps I should leave the thought-provoking discourses to fallow before re-visiting the field in the future. I think, though, that it is perhaps rather sad that my blog has become so mundane and uninteresting, sometimes even bleak, but I suppose that one cannot try too hard to stay a flowing river, nor to oppose inevitable changes. I suppose that this blog is really quite similar to my personality in its mercuriality.
Mercurial. Now that is one thing I am sure of, if I do not know any other thing about myself. I suppose it is the ever-changing nature of my personality that makes it so eminently difficult for me to be sure of anything regarding my thoughts, actions and decisions. I think that, perhaps, it is not a good thing, for the constant variation in my views towards life makes it terribly difficult to make decisions that have far-ranging implications, since I do not know if I will wake up tomorrow and be sorry that I made the decision. I can go to bed after a day of delight and happiness and excitement and wake up sullen, grumpy and moody, for no apparent reason at all. Similarly, what I like many change over years or even months.
Now hopefully I won't wake up one day several days down the road and decide I do not wish to be a doctor, because if that happened I would probably go quite mad. Oh well, it does no use to think too much about this when the future is still quite a long way away.
Avaris / 2/12/2004 05:42:00 PM
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