Friday, February 13, 2004

Haha let's see how long I can keep this a-post-a-day thing going on. I suppose I will be running out of steam very soon but this is actually quite enjoyable. I was a little irritated with some of my previous entries since they seemed to touch on too many subjects, that I could not delve more deeply into some of them due to blog length restrictions (not that there are any but no one will read a blog that's so long =P).

I suppose that people around me would know that I have recently upgraded to the higher order of life known as Cable Broadband, but I don't seem to have officially announced my discovery of a spectacular new perspective on the Internet. To quote Jason Hahn (of 8 Days fame), these days broadband surfing has become akin to oxygen: "You don't have broadband? Wah, how do you live?". Indeed, indeed. Somebody asked me how I could have stuck to simple dial-up all this while when the alternative of broadband was so available. My answer: it is not a big deal to me how fast I surf the Internet, since I do not see it as a necessity, rather I look upon it as somewhat of a bonus, a perk, that improves life to some extent but is not indispensable to life. You see what I mean. That, and the fact that I am somewhat of a caveman in technological terms. You are looking at a person who was using dial-up with a 28.8 kbps modem when everyone else was using 56k modems. But truly, the speed that one possesses, surfing with a cable account, is exhilarating.

I had a rather nice lunch today. The famous BizAd dumplings (which are supposedly only sold on Thursday, but which I suspect are being sold every day) together with Jon Chia, Linus, Pak Ling and Stella. Then Jon and Linus and Pak Ling had a very entertaining conversation about their time in RI. My life in RI was certainly much less exciting than theirs, to be sure. We were commenting that there was always that divide between the GEPs and Express people in RI, which is a little regrettable. I honestly think I would not have minded being friends with the GEPs, but I had some rather unpleasant experiences with some of their number when I was in Sec One, and that was to taint my view of them as a group for quite some time. After all, when all the GEPs you know are people like irvin and kangjie (urgh!), you tend to think these idiots representative of the whole GEP population. I rather thought they were a bunch of brats who liked teasing people like me (you know, a little like those rich people who snob the poor that you read about in stories about English colleges or something). Quite detestful, really. And leave no doubt that I was mercilessly taunted in Sec One, rather to the point of mental scarring. Ah, but that is all in the past.

Linus asked me this interesting question: "Does it ever bother you, that you are not attached?" You want to know my answer? Well, since I am writing this it must mean that I am going to say something about it. I think I would be lying if I said I was not bothered in any way. After all, who doesn't want to have a "special someone"? But I feel that these things really cannot be rushed to any degree, and I am inclined to let things take their natural course. I was never a person that is very proactive - I do not believe in forcing things that are not supposed to happen. I have always been a little slow in developing the kind of mentality that is suitable for my age, and to get over obstacles in life. In some ways, I often take the turtle mentality towards the "rat-race" and take things rather leisurely for anyone else's comfort. I do not think I have reached the point where I am mature enough to sustain a relationship, although honestly I think that I probably would not know when I reach that point. Ah, it is always difficult to talk about love, since everyone's experiences vary greatly. I suppose I am already used to waiting for things to happen, so I will go one waiting.

I think Linus is a very nice person to talk to. He's one of those people who you feel can really listen and understand, and you feel like you can say what you really feel without worrying about whether you should be saying it. Ah, but it is not nice for one to burden one's worries on another person, especially not wonderful people like Linus. I suppose it is one of the many tests of life that one has to suffer the weight of one's own troubles with little hope of relief. Everyone has their own problems - what gives one person the right to ask another person to bear that weight when they are unable to bear the other's burden?

Avaris / 2/13/2004 04:36:00 PM

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