CONSUMED. by avaris
Some men make fortunes, but not to enjoy them; for, consumed by avarice, they live to make fortunes

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The Emperor of All Maladies
A Biography of Cancer

(Siddharta Mukherjee)




[ current anime ]

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Tuesday, August 31, 2004

About Nothing

I need to know something. Do I look like I have difficulty understanding Chinese? I sometimes feel pretty baffled when people around me are speaking in Mandarin (I was trying to decide whether Mandarin is the correct word or if it is Chinese O_O") but when they turn to speak to me they speak in English. It is quite disconcerting. In such a situation i.e. if you are surrounded by friends speaking in Mandarin would you speak in Mandarin too? Now that I phrase it like this it seems like a pretty strange question. I suppose I have no idea what I want to say either. Oh never mind.

I watched 13 Going On 30 yesterday. Not a bad movie. I needed a heart-warming movie, and it was pretty poignant at points, which made me pretty emotional. Definitely a better movie than our alternative - Alien Vs Predator. This is not aimed at AVP fans. Just that AVP is pretty much brainless entertainment. And entertainment might be pushing it a little too.

Sigh I am pretty exhausted. No particular reason why, but I just feel a bit empty inside. I need a hug! **goes looking for Horatio**

P.S. Speculation is rife that Horatio might be infected with the hamster-targeting tumour-causing adenovirus, thus accounting for his imposing hugeness. And all this while I thought he was just fat. Some of his tissue has been sent for histological examination. My fingers are crossed.

--------------------

A few cryptic comments, because I haven't done this in a long time, and also because of other things:

Sometimes it is frightening how close to your truth some things can come, no matter how much you try to hide it, and by all appearances this hit is completely due to chance too. Is this fate? Is some higher power trying to make fun of me? I feel torn. And I really wonder whether there is some element of unconscious or even conscious knowing in all of this (As in the other party knowing something more than I assume), because if there is then I am pretty much screwed. Argh. Stay away.

Sometimes when I do not express any opinions and just nod my head noncommitally it usually means I do not agree but have no energy to list my points. Why persist? Change the subject.

I want to tell someone and yet I do not want to tell anyone. I cannot stand this bottling up of my emotions and yet I do not see the point in confiding to someone else. I ask myself what is the use in telling. My problems will not be solved, and I might not end up feeling better. What is the point?

Avaris / 8/31/2004 09:20:00 PM

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