Thursday, April 07, 2005

Aiming for Shangri-La

The weather has turned really freakish lately. It was maddeningly hot this afternoon, now it's raining bathtub-fuls of water. Well at least it's raining. I can't stand days when the sun is out the whole day, because the outer wall of my room faces somewhat southwest and the sun just bakes the wall every afternoon, so it takes the airconditioning an hour to bring the room temperature down to a somewhat comfortable level. Without the airconditioning the room feels like a gigantic oven. Which is why I love rain so much. It's a natural temperature-lowering mechanism.

Just as I expected, I've so little on my hands after the end of the exams that my mind is finding time to delve into less-than-cheerful topics. Maybe I should stop expecting that I'll get melancholic; it might actually be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Well anyway got lots to write about, I'll touch on those things slowly, probably not all in one post.

Now that exams are over, I think it's really a good time to just rest and do nothing. I don't feel the pressing need to fill my time with activities, even leisurely activities, unlike previous times. I suppose I have come to realise that rushing to do all these things just makes me tired and not really all that happy at the end of the day. I don't want to go shopping, or watch a movie, or read a book, or draw, or blog, or at least, I don't think every minute of my day should be filled with something as if it were an obligation to do so. Because I was doing that before. I felt like I had so little time before I started worrying about exams again I'd better spend all that time well, and in the end I stressed myself out by thinking that way, which really shouldn't be the case.

I feel that I really really need a break. I just need to sit around and just do nothing. I'm starting to feel like I just can't breathe anymore because of certain things, and I just need a break. I don't want to spend my holidays worrying about little things.

Today as I was coming home from an outing with orionway I was just listening to Gundam SEED OP and ED songs on my Discman, and looking out of the window. There was a book in my bag but I didn't bother reading it. My mind wasn't even thinking of anything, but just replaying scenes from SEED as I listened, and I thought it was really therapeutic to be able to happily do nothing without any guilt on my shoulders. Because of that I feel like my day really brightened up a notch.

Another therapeutic thought that has dug itself into my mind lately is related to a comment someone made on the SEED comm about what happens to the random badly-named hot spring on the Archangel when it goes into space: does it turn into a sauna? Just thinking about what happens to all that water in zero gravity makes me giggle.

If there are people out there who, like me, enjoy listening to people talk trash, then you should watch the new entertainment news programme on Channel u at 5 on weekday afternoons, because the hosts really say a lot of crap and probably only a third of the airtime is spent on actually reporting entertainment news. It's very very brainless but I tend to just sit in front of the television and guffaw a lot at the sheer brainlessness of it all; my mom thinks it isn't all that funny at all but I think it is, so she thinks I've gone nuts from too much studying. Wickedly therapeutic.

And yes with all my doing nothing I still have not started on drawing. Yesterday I dug out a whole stack of paper. Today I dug out my pencil case. And nothing. I still haven't decided which combinations of character images to use, because those that I have that are nice have truncated parts that I don't have the confidence to fill in by myself and trying to fit them on a piece of A4 paper is a little bit difficult.

New song file: Shangri-La by angela, the OP of Soukyuu no Fafner. I love the song, and I think the shorter TV version is somewhat better than the longer one, but I can't find the short one so I'll just have to use the long one. It's really a song that takes getting used to; most people don't like it the first time they hear it. I suppose the opening animation is very important too; it's one of those things where the animation and the song fit so perfectly it increases your heart rate. I'll probably leave it on for only a day since it might be somewhat annoying if left up too long.

Avaris / 4/07/2005 08:19:00 PM

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