Sunday, May 08, 2005
Crack, crack and more crack
I'm here to report on another fruitful SEED outing today, to the paradise of SEED merchandise that is Sunshine Plaza. As usual there were temptations aplenty and I ended up spending quite a lot more than I expected. The cold logical side of me abhors the flighty way I get all high when I see SEED merchandise and become completely incapable of checking my expenses, and I'm starting to be slightly annoyed with myself for becoming the kind of irrational fan that just continues to contribute widely to Bandai's enormous coffers of revenue from SEED merchandise.
Ok about the trip. First went to KKnM to look around, and was rather tempted to get the Athrun and Shinn A4 file but didn't because I'd probably never use it for fear of scratching the surface, and there's no point getting something I'll never use practically. Bought the Athrun poster, which is like really a work of brillant art and which makes me feel a slight twinge of regret for not getting it. Maybe I will next time.
After that it was La Tendo where I collected my gashapon Gundam SEED Characters set of seven characters for a nice low price of 28 dollars (4 dollars a figurine is damn cheap in my opinion). As usual I shall gush over the prettiness of the figurines. Cagalli looks so good in that purple Orb councillor outfit, though of course white Orb uniform is also to-die-for. Shinn's pose is full of attitude and is very attractive, while Rey turns on the charm with his sexy stance. Haha I sound like I'm giving a commentary on a fashion show. The quality is a bit lower than the more expensive figurines (to be expected) because they're gashapon after all, but they're still really really pretty. (How many times have I used the word pretty in this paragraph?)
Next I must recount my sad episode of uncontrollable splurging on the GSD Photo Collection Cell DX Phase relax and tv. Which is like 10 dollars a packet and only contains one large plastic card per packet. Most people would think it insane to spend so much on a single card, but when I scanned through the list of available designs on the back of the packet my heart just melted because the artwork was so good, and there were so many designs that I'd love to have, like Yzak, Athrun, Kira, Athrun and Kira, Athrun and Cagalli, Kira and Lacus, Shinn and Kira, Rey and Dullindal. Unfortunately, unlike previous tales of good luck with the Photo Collection 01, this time my luck was dismal and I got Lunamaria on the first buy. Hmph. Ok so I have a thing against characters with red hair after Fllay, but my mom thinks she's pretty. I left Sunshine Plaza, then something in my gut made me stop and go back to La Tendo with some idiotic notion that I could possibly get a better one on a second try. I spent another 10 bucks and got Auel. Meeeeh. It seemed like a bout of Phase 28-related melancholic doom.
But Auel looks really sexy. How can you not love a character with baby blue hair? *melts*
Yup so spent a lot of money and ended up stuck somewhere between euphoria and frustration. Sigh. (looking at Auel gives me little sparks of joy and it pains me that we'll possibly never see him again, probably not even in flashbacks) Add that to spoilers of episodes 32 and 33 and everything seems quite bleak. Ok I shall not dig a hole to be sad in.
Being rather cranky yesterday I thought of a totally dumb world-domination story for myself.
In the year 2021, Avaris creates a shounen-ai anime video file that is cursed, and distributes it on Bittorrent. All the poor shounen-ai fans who watch this cursed anime will become mindless slaves of Avaris and force their non-shounen-ai-fan-friends to watch the videotape and in so doing create a legion of mindless slaves that will enable Avaris to topple world governments as mindless slaves start broadcasting the shounen-ai anime over satellite to millions of households across the planet, including the television sets of world rulers. Avaris shall then keep the mindless slaves mindless (after all, the effects of the shounen-ai videotape do not last forever) by cloning pretty pink-haired songstresses that shall serenade the masses with DDR versions of propaganda songs and fry the brains of anyone who has a shred of logic left in them.
As Avaris' evil anime-inspired global domination scheme envelopes the entire planet, he is given the dubious honour of the Consumer, turning economies into mush by demanding that all industries be turned to producing only animes and their associated merchandise. A small band of survivors that live in mountains and have no access to television nor radio find out about this evil world takeover bid, which is almost impossible since they almost have no contact with the outside world, but they accomplish it through some weird plot loophole that tends to pop up in anime storylines, in this case being a pink-haired songstress clone finding some hidden capability to think for herself and actually running into the mountains with the help of a pink vehicle that passes her way one day, the driver of which is a scarred one-armed coffee-loving guy who lives in the mountains. It's weird how coincidence can bring the most unlikely people together.
So the brainy pink-haired songstress becomes the leader of the mountain-living people (who by some weird chance aren't completely lost in the backward state of most mountain-living people) and they formulate a plan to kill Avaris the Consumer. They set up a secret broadcasting station in the mountains and get the pink-haired songstress to sing normal versions of propaganda songs that neutralises the effect of the DDR versions and leaves people no longer brainless. They lead a great army against the evil bastion of Avaris which is a moving castle where Avaris likes to sit in dark rooms playing chess with himself and smirking like an evil overlord of the Earth. They are summarily defeated, but as an act of defeat they leave behind a great contraption called a mobile suit. This mobile suit is big and red and pretty, and Avaris cannot resist taking it into it's moving castle to admire it. Unfortunately this mobile suit then self-destructs and creates a mini nuclear explosion that causes Avaris' poor distorted body to swell up and explode in a pretty little shower of blood.
With Avaris the Consumer dead, the mind-numbing effects of DDR crack on world populations is broken as pink-haired songstresses worldwide mysteriously disappear. The brainy pink-haired songstress who was leading the army of mountain-living rebels is voted American president, and after some time it is revealed to no one in particular that she is actually Avaris' genetically modified vat-grown daughter. The saga continues.
I think I need to go sit in a corner and be crazy.
Avaris / 5/08/2005 09:53:00 PM
0 consumed