Sunday, June 12, 2005

Random samples from a maelstrom of thoughts

First off I'd like to sincerely thank all 5 people who were tagged by me and went on to complete the meme. I'm sorry if I have inconvenienced you in any way by springing emotional blackmail on you (a la "You must do it because you're my friend and I tagged you! If you don't I won't friend you!") which wasn't said but implied. I found it enjoyable to get tagged and I thought it would be fun to tag other people too. Well. I hope it was fun. But some shadowy part of my brain whispers in my ear that it wasn't.

Sometimes I wish people could be a lot more honest with one another. Like if I didn't like the way you talked I'd tell you about it or something. But the world isn't like that. And honesty isn't the best policy all the time. Sometimes a little lie goes a long way in helping other people feel better. Like when I say "No I'm not angry with you" it could mean "Really, I'm not angry with you, so don't worry" or "You fool, of course I'm angry" or "Well, I was angry, but I'm not angry now" but it all doesn't matter, because when I say "No I'm not angry" it means I don't want to pursue the matter. Not that it doesn't cease to nibble at me, but that's just me. Sometimes I lie to make the other party feel better and not worry if I'm angry, because I know I get angry over little things and I shouldn't make other people worry just because of it. But I certainly wish I could say the truth. Who wouldn't?

Argh yes I'm being Queen Bitch again. I hate it when I'm in this kind of mood. Sometimes I feel like a toy, and that some higher power, like Fate or something, is just playing around with me, throwing me in situations where my patience gets so sorely tested again and again. I'm not amused at all.

Yesterday was kind of fun. I went out shopping with my mom, because Marks & Spencer is having a end-of-season sale, and as many people know I love M&S clothes, because they're 1. Nice; 2. Good quality and semi-branded yet reasonably priced; and 3. British. So I bought a T-shirt that is nice. But I didn't get the polo tee I was eyeing because it's still a bit on the high side. Hopefully it doesn't get snapped up, and will get a little cheaper at a future sale. My mom has become totally immune to my acting pitiful to get her to pay for my clothes, but she makes a good fashion adviser, because I tend to like too many clothes and she will exclaim her dislike for some of them and make me dislike them too. Mwahaha.

While walking in Taka I met someone whom I am acquainted with, but don't know very well. I waved, being nice and all, and the situation ended up being really awkward because that person stopped, and so did the other two people with him, and we just stood there staring at one another not knowing what to say. And my mind was a total string of "OMG don't stop just go on walking go on go on. Oh dear what to say?"

So I thought, Okay, let's ask some standard studies questions. So I said, "So, what are you doing now?" And got the reply, "Oh, I'm walking around with my friends." And I'm like NO I didn't mean now as in now, I meant now as in ~now~. Goodness. And it just got worse and worse by the second. Luckily he finally said that he had to be going, and left. How totally awkward. I hate social situations like this, because my brain is woefully inadequate when it comes to small-talk, especially with people you haven't seen in 4 years.

It seems that while I'm no longer at CGH, not a day passes without me having some CGH-related thought. Just the other day I saw Dr. CWC at Bishan and proceeded to have an interesting gossip session about him. And when I got home and was watching the 9pm serial on Channel 8 I saw a shot of a hospital with white walls and dark blue windows and I shouted "It's CGH!", earning weird looks from my family. I'm totally obsessed, and I should stop. Really. The woe. By the way the new documentary programme on Channel U about doctors in NUH is quite interesting. It's good that they're portraying doctors as kind, caring, compassionate people, especially since there's been so much bad press lately.

Someone said the previously linked Harry Potter fanfic was too gay. Erm, yeah, sorry if it offended anyone's taste. But if you've read enough fanfics this is nothing compared to some of the stuff out there. And the main point isn't on sex anyway, so it's fine. I wish I could write fanfic like that, but it takes a lot of effort for me to see through a character's eyes. A lot of reading and research. Which I'm lazy to do.

Here's another fanfic, that's rather blasphemous. So don't read it if you don't like reading blasphemous stuff. Or if you don't know anything about Harry Potter. If you're open-minded, and you're a Harry Potter fan, and you want a good laugh, go ahead.

Avaris / 6/12/2005 10:04:00 PM

0 consumed