Saturday, June 18, 2005

Seats and songs

I was on the NUH Shuttle Bus on the way to NUS just yesterday, and I witnessed an incident that made me feel rather weird and thoughtful. I was already seated at the back of the bus, and as it got more and more filled up with passengers there was a mother with her son who looked to be in his 20s, but had some form of limb dystrophy, and couldn't walk properly. It happened that there was an elderly man getting on the bus before this pair, and there were no seats available on the bus, so a lady stood up to offer her seat to him. The guy with the walking impairment thought the seat was being offered to him and exclaimed "Thank you!" very loudly, only to be told by his mother that the lady was offering it to the elderly gentleman. He then sort of put-off and started exclaiming, "I can't balance leh. I can't balance leh." as if to say "Hey, I'm impaired, who's going to give me a seat?" and eventually a middle-aged woman stood up to offer him his seat, and he exclaimed "Thank you!" again.

So it was kind of weird to me. I mean, I know that with this guy's impairment it's natural for him to want to get a seat so he won't fall down when the bus is moving (incidentally can I say here that from my experience the drivers of NUH shuttle buses have atrocious driving, worse than public bus drivers), but to actually ask for it seems to be crossing a line. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe it's a survival mechanism in cold callous Singapore where people will pretend to be sleeping so they don't have to give up their seat. But to me, making other people feel bad to get them to give up their seat to you seems to turn a social obligation into a debt, like the world owes it to you to acknowledge that you have a greater right than they do to that seat. I can't describe it very well but it just makes me feel weird. I'd think that even if he had not voiced out his protestations, he would still have been given a seat, so why do it to shame other people? It's demeaning to one's own self, isn't it? And if no one actually gives him a seat, then shame on us, really.

I think the issue of how Singaporeans constantly exhibit poor behaviour in public transport by refusing to give up their seats to people who need them more has been coming up time and time again in newspapers, and I see it quite often when I take public transport too. A pregnant woman getting on an MRT has to stand because no one bothers to give their seats up to them. If you observe the people who don't give up their seats there are generally three groups of people. One group is made up of people who also need the seat, like old people, people carrying toddlers, etc. One group is made up of people who just pretend that they didn't just see a pregnant lady get on the train. The last group is made up of people who are torn between offering their seat to the pregnant lady and waiting to see if someone else gives their seat first so they're "saved" from doing the same.

That's it with us, isn't it. We always wait for someone else to do something we really want to do, because we're somewhat scared to do something atypical, to call attention to ourselves. It's always "Let's just wait one second more, someone else will give their seat up. Just wait. What will people think of me if I give up my seat? What if she doesn't want it? So malu!" and so on. It's rare to find someone who takes the initiative to give up their seat generously, and it's usually women who give up their seats to pregnant women. Or so I've seen. (Usually I'm standing in a corner of the carriage observing this)

I'm not saying that the mentality of waiting for someone else to do something that you want to do is a good one, or a right one. It's not, but this is the kind of thoughts that many people have, I think, and we need to change this mentality.

I actually can't believe I wanted to save 38 cents by taking the NUH shuttle bus, and I felt considerably guilty that I was taking up a seat on a bus meant for patients and visitors of NUH only. Really. Argh I feel so cheapskate.

I've been watching Project Superstar, and like what Darryl said to me in a conversation the other day, Where were all these great singers when we had Singapore Idol? The 100 guys and girls in the 3rd audition round just blew me away with their good singing. Everyone's talking about Tan Wei Lian, the visually-handicapped finalist, and I think he's really really good. Looking at him sing so beautifully moves me to tears, and makes me feel that he may have had his vision taken away from him, but his voice is a phenomenal gift.

Despite his singing, I actually question the decision to let him take part in the final round because no matter how touching his voice is, the truth is that he can hardly be the marketable superstar that they're looking for. I feel that even though it might be cruel to drop him off early in the competition, wouldn't it be more cruel to give him false hopes, to let him progress and feel like he could actually make it, only to be dropped at the end? Considering that the final round results are decided by SMS voting, I would think that all of us, being so touched by his courage and his voice, would vote for him. It could be possible that he would progress quite far into the competition before everyone realises it. And then the competition wouldn't be very fair anymore would it? Because if we all know, and the judges know, that he cannot be the final superstar, then that would give a considerable advantage to his competitors.

Maybe, yet again, I'm wrong. Perhaps I'm just thinking of the best case (or worst case, depending on your point of view) scenario, and he might get eliminated early in the show. Who knows? I just feel that it is cruel to lead him on knowing that even should he have a chance of winning, he cannot be the winner. Sure, give him a recording contract, anything. His voice is marvellous. He's a star in all our hearts. But he is not what the show is looking for.

I think this argument would reflect that I'm supportive of euthanasia. I don't believe people should be led on false hopes, even though I know that the power of hope is great and can overcome a lot. To carry on hoping when it is almost certain things will not change for the better is a cruel torture to the people involved, and perhaps it's better to move on. I read in a Forum letter by a doctor, some time ago, that doctors shouldn't be supportive of euthanasia, and I asked, Why? Why not? I still don't have the answer (maybe because I haven't really thought about it, haha).

Avaris / 6/18/2005 08:18:00 PM

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