Saturday, July 02, 2005

So what if I don't believe?

Hypothetical situation #675:

X has a friend Y who is an insurance agent. Y invites X and a bunch of other mutual friends out to a meal together, seemingly to "meet up", but it is also implied that Y wants to take the opportunity to introduce these friends to the merits of the insurance policies that he happens to be selling.

X is obviously not very interested in buying insurance. He faces the dilemma of whether or not to go for the gathering. On the one hand, he'll appear to be anti-social if he is the only person who chooses to skip the gathering, and he can't make up an excuse not to go because the people who are going for the gathering know that he doesn't have anything on at that time. However, knowing that eventually Y will be telling him all about insurance and trying to convince him to buy a plan, X is quite sure that he will feel abjectly uncomfortable because he doesn't want a plan, and yet doesn't want to hurt his relationship with Y because of his rejection of Y's attempts to get him (X) to buy just one plan. Neither does he want to waste Y's time by appearing like he went for the gathering because he is interested, no matter how small the interest, in the plans that Y has to offer.

For X, it'll be difficult for him to not go for the gathering, because this is an outright action that shouts out his disinterest in Y's plans, and such an action will possibly hurt Y's feelings and make X's friends think badly of him. He feels very strongly against going because he will feel uncomfortable, and because it will end up being a waste of his time and Y's time, and he doesn't want to give Y the wrong impression that he is interested only to say a firm no at the end. X has the feeling that he is being emotionally blackmailed because saying no to Y's attempts to sell him insurance will hurt his relationship with Y. And X feels that showing up at the gathering just because it would reflect poorly on him if he doesn't is a hypocritical act, and he would be a lot happier if this were just a simple gathering among friends instead of one that has irritatingly obvious subtext.

Do you think X should go for the gathering, and end up feeling uneasy about everything (let's assume that there isn't even a minutely small chance that X might actually enjoy himself there, because he keeps thinking of what Y is going to do to him), or should he decline and risk being seen as anti-social?

Avaris / 7/02/2005 09:13:00 PM

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